A Mystery behind A Solid Partnership


The best relationships that we have stem from friendship.

Developing that strong bond between yourself and another person is something that just doesn’t happen overnight. It takes spending time with that person, having frequent conversations with them on a regular basis, you know, the normal things that you do when you are trying to get to know a person. Meeting someone who you have no type of previous association with is cool, not knocking that at all. But what about meeting someone who has been in the picture for years? Someone that you have really grown to know over an extended period of time. Despite what some people may think, getting into a relationship with a close friend could very well be the key to your happiness.

Think back on some the best relationships that you have had for a moment. Were they ones where you just jumped right into a relationship with a guy that you knew for all of a few weeks? Or were they the ones where a true friendship has involved prior to? My guess would be the ones where you all were friends first.

That is one of the most positive things about meeting your friends. You have already established that real connection with each other. And because of that, you know a decent amount of their likes and dislikes, how they handle certain situations that are faced with, essentially the whole nine. The trust, commitment, communication; all of those things are already there between you two, things that all partnerships need to have. Granted, there may be some things that have been kept under wraps, but for the most part, you know everything there is to know about that person. So you can pretty much skip over that whole “getting to know your man” phase. He was your friend from jump so you already have this part in the bag.

Not to say that if you don’t have a friendship with your man before you two get in a relationship means that it will be doomed to hell from the very start. That’s a far-fetched to assume. But when you come into it already knowing a lot about the person that you are about to be with, it makes life so much easier for the both of you. You don’t have to go asking around about him and what he or she did in the past. No background checks and sending out nosey girlfriends or boyfriends to dig up information on him will be necessary. You most likely already know everything for yourself.

Though it may sound like an instant win to a lot of us, getting into a serious relationship with one of your homeboys can be a little scary to do. There’s always the thing where if it doesn’t work out, it may ruin the friendship that you had with that person. Up to this point, you have only had been in a friendship with them. They could be a certified jackass as a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Yes, this could very well happen. The love fest that you thought you two were going to have turned out to be one of the worst dating experiences that you have ever had. But if the friendship is strong enough and based on something real and positive, I doubt you will have that problem on your hands. Besides, if he/she is good enough to be your friend, then he/she is probably well worth a shot as your boyfriend/girlfriend.

With any relationship that you find yourself in, there will be ups and downs that you will face as a couple, whether it’s with a long time friend or not. But who better to go through these things with than someone who has had your back from the start; A person who genuinely has your interest at heart and is not afraid to tell you when you are getting out of line. Wouldn’t you rather take a chance with a person you have known for a minute than to take a chance with a total stranger? I know I would.

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Art of Flirting


Some people just do not have the ability to properly “flirt.” Some individuals are socially awkward and some are just clueless. Most people do not realize there is a science to flirting, a “formula” so to speak. If you want to learn my technique, here is my formula to flirtation

:: CONFIDENCE ::
I cannot stress  this enough, but one of the key factors to being successful at flirting is CONFIDENCE. First you must be confident in yourself before anyone will be confident in you. Be confident in who you are and what you say. Even if you are just throwing out pick up lines, be confident in the words and the conversation you throw out. There is nothing worse than a man or woman who does not have the confidence to believe in their-selves and their abilities.

:: EYE CONTACT ::
Say you walk into a room and you catch someone’s eye. Be sure to maintain eye contact. It is essential you keep your eyes focused on that person for a solid amount of time (at least 10 seconds) before breaking your gaze away. Let your eyes wander for a little before you establish eye contact for a second time. Eye contact from across the room engages the other person and invites them to approach you. If the other person does not maintain eye contact, they are either shy or not interested.

:: SMILING ::
After you have made eye contact, send that other person a flirtatious smile. A flirtatious smile is one that is not too eager, friendly, and slightly mysterious. I usually offer the “half-smile” or the “Mona Lisa smile,” which I feel is a bit enigmatic. It is like the famous Mona Lisa smile, where Mona Lisa is smiling slightly, but you have no clue as to what she is thinking about. Her smile draws people in. It makes people wonder who she is and what is behind that smile. A smile is also a great way to invite further conversation or contact.

:: EMPHASIZING YOUR BEST FEATURES ::
A great way to draw a person in is to emphasize your best features, or your best assets. People have told me my best features are my eyes, my lips, or my smile. Because this is what I have heard, I often use these assets to “engage the opposite sex.” For instance, I will often widen my eyes to make them look larger because I want to emphasize how attractive and deep they are. Basically, you are drawing people to you without having had any conversation.

:: CONVERSATION ::
When you are conversating with the person, keep the conversation light. Ask open-ended questions that require more than just a yes or no answer. Answer questions normally as if you were talking to a friend. The point is to keep the conversation going, but in a fun, light manner. Make sure you are sincerely listening to what they are saying, and store this information in the back of your head for future use.

:: LAUGHING ::

During the conversation, laugh a little to lighten the mood. When you laugh, you release endorphins that make you happier. This warm, happy attitude is infectious, and can cause the other person to laugh with you. Establishing this light-hearted attitude scores big points with the opposite sex. It shows you are comfortable, and this in turn makes the other person more comfortable.

:: BODY POSITION ::
When the other person is speaking, lean in to show your interest. You are showing you are interested in what they have to say. You are showing you are interested in them as a person. When you flirt and there is interest, your body does things subconsciously to express this interest. For boys, we play with our hair or fidget and touch our goggles. Girls will often point their body towards the man.

Watch this videos below…it’s a short recap of what I have described above.

Where is Humanity in Us..?


We are destroying the Atmosphere.

 

I was in a car with my friends. We had bought fruits and cold drinks to enjoy our journey while gossiping, eating and watching golden fields of wheat in our way. I had a shopper bag to collect waste instead of throwing it out of the car. One of my friends finished his cold drink and opened the window to throw the cane on road side. I asked him not to do it. Surprised by my interruption, he asked me, “Why?” I told him that I have a bag to collect waste. It’s better to keep all the waste in it than throwing out and destroying the beauty of nature. To my utter amazement, he laughed loudly and said, “Will whole country get cleaned if I don’t throw this cane outside?” … I wanted to say something, I wanted to explain … This is just a drop, drops make rivers, then ocean, then … but there was no one to listen my philosophies, no courage to understand them … I felt all alone in the car.I started watching people outside the car and what do I see now … A molvie sahib beating a child with a stick. The little boy was trying to escape but molvie sahib was not ready to spare him. It was a terrible sight.

Before starting this journey, we had thought that we will have a great time and we will enjoy it but every passing scene was making it more painful. Dried canals were giving a silent message that future holds some hard times for us. . . No water for cultivation, no place for fishing, no point for young villagers to get rid of summer heat in cold waters.What will happen with

my homeland? We have polluted the waters, our ignorance has led us to the dark path where we breathe polluted air, we walk on polluted earth and we are doing it ourselves.

 

What are butterflies? The beautiful colors and patterns they have.When did you see the butterfly last time? I rarely see one. We are killing these delicate creatures. We are killing thousands of species, who have been silently supporting our lives in green fields, fresh air, and flowing waters. Such a brutal nature humans have. We are hunters, and strangely enough, we are the hunters who never hesitate in hunting their own species even.

Freedom of Speech?


I randomly found this piece of prose on Facebook as different people’s statuses. It me wonder that is going on in the world.

 

“When you attack black people, they call it …
Racism
When you attack Jewish people, they call it…
Antisemitism
When you attack women, they call it…
Sexism
When you attack homosexuality, they call it…
Intolerance
When you attack your country, they call it…
Treason
When you attack a religious sect, they call it…
But when they attack the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), they call it…
FREEDOM OF SPEECH ”

Sick of Musharraf Lovers


** This post is 2 year old and is taken from here. People those are glad on Musharaf’s return to Polictics, please read this and try to answer.**

I’m very disturbed, disappointed and sick to death to see the amount of facebook’ers on my list who think Musharraf’s leaving has been a catastrophe for Pakistan. Just because a new evil, a.k.a Zardari, is in the house does not mean that the previous evil is now a good man. A “leader” as some say. That’s our problem – as an entire nation. We forget and we repeat our mistakes over and over again.

People left right and centre have been levelling accusations at me, and countless others like myself, that we support Zardari. Unfortunately no one takes out 5 minutes to ask if that is so. Let me save you the time…we don’t. And no, he is NOT democratically elected. Hierarchic / Monarchic rule within the party does not ensure a democratic candidate, so stop ranting that its democracy that’s bad. We, the people, have been cheated again. The actual institution has been wronged.

I will get hate messages and mail after this because I get them often for my stance. Those who know me well know my passion for this country and its welfare so at least I can’t be labelled for propaganda as my other friends and colleagues are. But I must have my say – whether or not you bother to read the entire note.
It might seem like an attack on all you who support Musharraf, but unfortunately he was a friend of the wealthy and his circles included the elite and the ruling elite (I use the terms separately so that the few elite members in my list are spared the mercy of being called PML-Q-ians).

His ruling party looted and spent generously. The corruption meter Musharraf used himself to oust Nawaz Sharif has rated the corruption during his past 8 years government rule at least 20-40% more corrupt than that of Benazir or Nawaz Sharif…. and that is quite a task to achieve! Don’t believe me – do some research.

Of course all of you will lament his going. You thought he was fighting for the country, and the economy was oh-so-booming and justice was being handed out to all and sundry.

If you think this way then:

  1. None of you had your father/brother/son/husband picked up by intelligence forces, sold to America and other countries for bounty money, threatened torture and death to you and your extended family for searching for your family member.
    • The worst insult – Musharraf announcing that all the missing persons had actually just run away from their homes and/or were jihadi terrorists. Yes Mr. Musharraf that’s a very smart thing to say – since it really worked for you to pull out a name from your list every time a suicide bombing happened.
      • I have met the families of the missing persons in a very high level semi-secretive meeting arranged by HRCP and Amnesty, a couple of years back, and I met normal people with normal lives – just like yours and mine, but maybe a bit more harsher – suddenly flung into chaos.
      • I met a 10 year old boy who was picked up alongside his father and uncle and saw his father being tortured. His father still isn’t back.
      • I met the murdered journalist Hayat-ullah’s brother who had gone missing with his brother but had been released while his brother killed. The brother too was killed months after I met him.
    • How is this the war on terror? It’s more like the war of terror. Why are we being auctioned to satiate an ever-hungry monster’s desire to colonize the world? (USA for those who didn’t get that)
  2. None of you care to find out what happened on May 12, 2007, when Karachi went under siege and people on all sides were senselessly killed, roads blocked, Edhi ambulances attacked and drivers killed – and NO action was taken. But dancing and celebrating the Punjab qabza group government continued in Islamabad.
    • The Karachi bridge collapsing after that seemed trivial and really required no justice. Because a few poor people died and Pakistan can do without some more mouths to feed.
  3. All of you and your mothers/sisters/daughters/friends/wives have not been raped, or better yet gang-raped. Then you probably believe that rape is supposed to be silenced and that Mukhataran Mai case was “so over-done”. Musharraf was right when he had Mukhataran Mai put on the ECL (Exit Control List) so that the image of Pakistan would not be destroyed.
    • And all of you at some time have visited countries abroad, or if you’re lucky like me, were probably born abroad so you don’t have to get raped to get an American visa. Musharraf seemed to think that’s why us ladies in Pakistan liked to get raped. Again you doubt me, check online for direct quotes.
  4. You are also one of those people who’s countless acres of land were not snatched in Balochistan and Sindh and handed for a pittance to army officers who then minted a fortune in selling them later. That’s because you don’t live in Balochistan or NWFP and have your own little place in a Pakistani-suburbia.
  5. You probably also think that Balochis are terrorists and should be tackled with the way they are for wanting to break Pakistan.
    • In the past 8 years or so media coverage of Balochistan was banned. No one knew what was happening there because the General didn’t see it fit for you to know.
    • So while they were being killed they had other trivial things to worry about too:
      • No gas – because they provide all to you me and the rest of Pakistan
      • No electricity – because why would tribals need it
      • No CNG – because…they have cars?
      • No roads – no CNG, no cars, why need roads?
      • All the minerals, discovered and potential sites, being sold to the yens and the dollars and the pounds while they get nothing
      • And the budget allocation – my God it has been an insult each time their share has been announced.
    • But you say that it serves the tribal Sardars right. Because there are NO other regular people, middle class, students, poor, old, unwell people in Balochistan – only Sardars.
    • Tell me – why was Pakistan made? Were we not all being denied our basic rights back then? The breaking up of a country to form our country is celebrated – yet when a province, hounded and ignored since Pakistan’s inception now demands their rights or separation you call them villains and terrorists. Damn hypocrisy I say.
  6. You agree the media has lost control and attacked Musharraf when it was he who “allowed” them to come.
    • Again, my lovelies, the free media revolution had started in 1989 and most of these new channels came when the new satellite technology came. Not because they were always barred and Musharraf had an epiphany to allow them.
    • It’s shameful how Daily Times Najam Sethi has sold his soul to the pimped out Governor Salman Taseer to keep his position. Why don’t you question his stand?
    • And it’s time anyway to wake up and see what’s happening in ever corner of your country. This again does not mean I support substandard and/or yellow journalism
    • And if you still think, like Musharraf did, that all the channels sucked and reported wrong information and deserved to be banned in November 2007, then can you please explain why BBC, CNN, Al-Jazeera and all other international news channels were also banned?
    • MEDIA MUST BE FREE. Those who are not interested in changing the status quo of this country please change the damn channel to a cheap Indian soap opera which everyone seems to enjoy.
  7. You think that suspending the constitution was fine and it solved issues. I talk about a constitution, which is not just formed on a whim. It is a legislation almost sacred to a country. It is based on the universal declaration of human rights that are meant to apply to all and sundry; that ensures basic rights to speech, to thought, to movement, to association, to expression, to religion, to vote, to protest, to demand, to information. If the law guarantees you this security NO one should be allowed to manipulate it to say otherwise. No situation allows for the government to tell me to shut up and sit at home and not participate in democratic (or non-democratic as it might be) change. The government is my servant. It exists to take care of me and look after my country. I pay it to do so and it enjoys a very large amount of luxuries on this behalf alone.
  8. You probably also felt that the activists, journalists, lawyers and students deserved to be beaten up, tortured and arrested.
    • Then Pakistan’s constitution should be “cleaned up” and our rights to protest, freedom of assembly, freedom of association, legal rights before detention and arrest should all be scrapped, because the General didn’t find them fit to implement.
    • The emergency was declared to minimize violence, quote unquote. Read Washington post’s article, written by Musharraf himself. The comments on the article are deeply revealing. The suicide attacks still happened. During the emergency the violence against citizens was abominable. More than 5000 people jailed. I myself made a list of 1000 arrests for my work. People, civilians, activists, lawyers, students, little children beaten up like dogs. Is that security? Is that how you “control society”? By breaking their bones, ripping off their clothes and kicking them in the gut. I have names and pictures, arrested and manhandled. Honestly speaking the army, our protector ended up doing more damage to us than anyone else. The police had as usual jumped in to join the party. The fight for judiciary might have the face of Chaudry Iftikhar and you might not like him but the truth is that judiciary must be free and impartial. Arresting lawyers because “they could incite trouble” is about the biggest hogwash there is.
  9. You agree with military rule for the benefit of the nation. The army unrightfully so taxes us to our bones for “security reasons”, even gobbling up the share for education and development, yet Lal masjid brewed a few kilometres from the presidents’ house with mass ammunitions, ak 47s machine guns, grenades, gas masks…that too in the most heavily policed city in the country. Is that how the army protects us and itself.
    • Sadly, because of Musharraf the armed forces really have suffered. And thousands of men, Jawans not Generals, who come from all corners of the country and bear freezing cold and scorching heat to sacrifice their lives for the love of their country, bear the brunt of their military leaders’ bad choices. The army’s job is to protect our borders and that’s what it should do. We received billions of dollars in aid to tackle terrorism. Not only did terrorism increase, but also there have been solid links of financial and logistical support found between the ISI and the terrorists. Who sold us to the Americans and allowed Boucher and Condoleeza to dictate terms? Where does the army get its funding/training/weapons/luxuries from? I’m sure you’ll like reading Dr. Ayesha Siddiqua’s book Military Inc. I enjoyed it and I haven’t found any quotes from the army denying it. Except for maybe banning the book because reading is so bad for Pakistanis. They’ll start to think.
  10. You say Shut up Saira – do you know what he did for our economy? Yes what did he do? Watching a show on TV last year about Pakistan’s “booming economy” I was surprised to hear a very Mary Antoinette-ish remark made by one of the young pro-government economists “so what if Punjab has a wheat crisis. They’ll get something else to eat”.
    • The reason Pakistan’s GDP went up was because of two reasons – the banking sector and the telecommunication sector. The Pakistan banking sector has one of the worst interest rates in the world – how sweet is that since you and your daddies don’t really need to take out any loans – but many other’s do and the banking sector feeds of their carcasses. Nowhere else in the world would Citibank have been allowed to hound a person (and thousand others like him) till he committed suicide.
  11. Coming to Citibank – don’t even bring me to Shaukat (Shortcut) Aziz. The man is undoubtedly smart and he could have done wonders for us – yet he too looted us and helped the ruling class mint some more. mint mint mint.
    • The Punjabi ruling class however was not content and sold and/or hoarded our flour and sugar, so that the hungry stomachs would dish out more when food was scarce.
    • Don’t get me started on the chief justice case. You don’t like him because you think the lawyers brought anarchy to the streets. Well the Chief Justice really should have been kicked in the boot. After all he stopped Shaukat Aziz, Musharraf and all their cronies from extreme profiteering in the Steel mill case, and he asked about the missing persons – the damn missing persons. Oh and Suo Motu…he played with that little Latin term that the government came to associate as a swear word.

And FINALLY, all you people lamenting his exit and the arrival of the new vultures – it was Musharraf’s gift to us, the NRO, which legalised their return and it was Musharraf who pardoned all of Benazir’s, Zardari’s and the Sharif brothers’ cases so that he could get a safe exit in return– one tyrant to another. Mushie knows best.

I don’t even know where to stop. I talk from facts. Hundreds and thousands of files, numbers, cases, stats and complaints lying on my desk and those of my colleagues. Colleagues who got arrested for assembling at the office when the emergency was declared. Colleagues who passionately fight for people’s rights – the same rights that allow you and me the simple liberties we take for granted. We meet people who were abused by Musharraf, those who were abused before him and no doubt those who will be abused by the new monster that has narcissistically named itself the people’s government.

For god sakes wake up you slumbering fools. Musharraf’s exit does not have to mean the return of another evil period for us. Why cant we make it mean something more and bring in more educated people into the services and politics. Talk, speak out, and demand action and accountability so that these goons don’t get to loot us again. Lets not be quiet and say lawyers are liars and politicians are pansies. Maybe if we just worked just as hard as making things work as we do in criticising, things could get better. Start by doing your bit – bit by bit – and wait for the change to happen. Don’t sit and complain in your comfortable houses and cars. Don’t do that because it doesn’t help anyone.

Or just don’t damn well fornicate to produce a generation that will suffer at your expense.

7 Unfailing Laws Of Successful Relationships


Vector image of two human figures with hands i...

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Most think that relationships exist to make them happy. When they find that special person, they believe that love will naturally grow. But in relationships we encounter everything – challenges, joy, fulfillment, loss. But few know how to handle the rough times.

We seldom learn about how to build relationships in a way that brings out the best in all. However, there are simple laws of successful relationships. These laws act as guideposts, helping us to choose wisely and to avoid costly mistakes. Seven of these basic laws are described below.

Law #1 – There is never a lack of relationships. Relationships are abundantly available.

Many live with the idea that love is scarce and that they must cling to whoever comes their way. This idea can cause them to get involved with the wrong person, or stay in a relationship that is toxic for them. It is crucial to realize that relationships are plentiful. (If you don’t have one, look and see how and why you are keeping it away). It is never necessary to cling to the wrong person out of fear of being alone.

Law # 2 – Know Who You Are And What You’re Seeking

Many enter relationships hoping that it will give them a life, or make them feel better about themselves. They may want their partner to take care of them, or give them the approval they’ve been denied.

But it is of the utmost importance to know and respect who you are, to enjoy your own company and be aware of your own values and goals. Otherwise, it is easy to become lost in a relationship, to become a pawn in someone else’s world.. A healthy relationship is always mutual, it is an acknowledgement that both partners are equally valuable.

Law #3 Don’t Keep Choosing The Wrong Person For You

Some find, to their amazement, that they choose the same partner, over and over again. Relationships patterns repeat as well. This is called the repetition compulsion.

It is the unconscious need to repeat a situation over and over until we master it or it turns out the way we want it to. This compulsion keeps some people stuck in a bind. If you are caught in this, see what this pattern is doing for you. Actively choose different places to go and make a point of choosing individuals who are different from those you usually meet. Become stronger than the pattern. Turn you life around.

Law #4 – Enjoy Honest Communication

Without the ability to say No, we cannot say Yes. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not to make another happy. Don’t give up that which is meaningful to you for the sake of a friendship. The bedrock of all happy relationships is mutual respect and acceptance and open, honest, communication. Ask for what is important to you.

Find out what is really going on for your partner. When a person really feels listened to and accepted they feel loved.

Law #5 Don’t Try To Change Or Fix Other Person

Let everyone be who they are, including yourself. So many of us are obsessed with changing or fixing everyone. This is not friendship, but manipulation. . Many believe that if the person cared enough, they would certainly change for them. This is not so. Changing another is not your job. Find out who the person you are with really is. If someone feels accepted, they can change themselves, if they want to.

Law # 6- Know Difference Between Real and Counterfeit Love.

Feeling happy, high, excited or attached to a person, feeling possessive or dependent is not love. It’s infatuation, ego thrills or dependency, usually based upon fantasy. Inevitably, fantasies fade. People then feel that the love is over. It is not over, it’s just been a form of counterfeit love. We must learn the difference between real and counterfeit love, between love and fantasy.

Counterfeit love always involves struggle and pain. Real love never does. Real love is a verb. It is not based simply upon feelings, which come and go, but actions. It is important to learn “to”do love”. Do love and you will be loved. in return.

Law #7 – See the Best In Others – And In Yourself.

What we see in others, we bring out in them. If we focus upon their negative points (and let them know about them), you can be certain the negativity will increase. When we focus upon what is good in that person and let them know, this brings out the best. The better a person then feels about themselves, the less need they have for negativity. Often it can just fall away on its own.

Law #7 1/2- The Master Law – When They Come We Welcome, When They Go We Do Not Pursue

Understand that each relationship lasts for a certain time. You’ve come together to learn from one another, to share, enjoy and often move along. This is not rejection, but growth and change. Change is natural and inevitable. Don’t see it as failure. Don’t see it as loss. Don’t try to control when time comes to go.

The greatest art of relationships is to know how to let go. When someone new comes welcome them, when it’s time to let go, thank the person for all you’ve received from them and let go.

You, Me and Cyberspace


Remember the good old days when we used to go out, interact with 3-D people and talk to them on the telephone, effectively conveying our feelings and emotions?

Screw that. Now we have cyberspace! Let the World-Wide-Web handle your relationships for you! Why go through all the excruciating effort of dialing a number when you can simply “poke” a friend on Facebook? And decorate your updates with an emoticon that comes somewhat close to your actual feeling… we have a wide array of emoticons to choose from.

It’s disturbing how we’re pumping our souls out into machines and using them to handle problems which are purely “human”. We’re investing so much in a precarious system which, if collapses, would cause our identity, our social standing, our work to go down the drain with it!

Get real, people… and I mean that literally.